I am MAD!!!! Warning: a tad long so don't read if you are in a hurry....

I am MAD, ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, TICKED, fill in your favorite synonym - you get the idea!!!!

ooh - is this what i look like when the 4th graders are misbehaving?  scaryish....and tired looking, but focus on the MAD part!!!

Why???

At whom/what???

So???

Well, I've learned over the years that when I get really angry and frustrated, it is helpful to dig around and find out a little more info because just being MAD doesn't do much other than to make me unpleasant to be with and to increase my blood pressure.  I am definitely MAD, so I'm sharing what I've discovered about it here....

??Why?? Bottom line - there are wonderful children all over the world who are without families to love and care for them.  Expanded version - there are many problems in our world but how do we as a people allow the youngest and most vulnerable to continue in this state?  How can there not be loving homes for these children who have already suffered so much?

??At whom/what?? This part took me weeks and I don't think I'm done yet.  Once I knew what was bothering me, I thought about who and/or what was "causing" it.  Seven possible "culprits" have come to mind.

   1.  THE ORPHANS - Easy - no way!  They wouldn't ever ask to be in this position.

   2.  THE BIRTH PARENTS - Uhmmm...no. Not one parent I know is perfect.  We all have issues - some 

        of them just aren't illegal, some aren't caught, and some mostly harm ourselves.  I'm glad that these 

        parents brought life to these awesome kids.  I wish that the sad and ugly times hadn't happened, but 

        anger at the birth parents will be unproductive.  I don't know the whole story anyway. 

   3.  ORPHANAGES OR COUNTRIES - Nah.  They have huge challenges with so many to care for.  

        Covering necessities like food and shelter are to be expected, but an institution or government isn't 

        capable of providing a loving family.  Some could do a better job or make adoptions easier maybe.  But 

        again, anger at them?  Don't think they'll bat an eye at me...and nothing will change.

   4.  "THE SYSTEM" - Well...this one I still struggle with a lot!  Some things just make no stinking sense!!!  

        Mini-example - 3 sets of fingerprints from 3 different places?  Can't we share?  Hundreds of forms and

        multiple certifications?  More money than many families make in a whole year?  What???  Rules serve a 

        purpose but - come on.  Some need to be overhauled!  AND, my frustration isn't going to change them.

   5.  FAMILIES OF THE WORLD - Think I'm less mad and more confused here.  Where are the families 

        for these kids?  I just don't get it?  There are plenty of homes with extra beds.  There are savings 

        accounts that are saving for what - something more important that a desperately needy child??  BUT, I 

        don't know hearts and purposes.  It is not my job to judge.  Waaaayyy beyond me to change or open

        hearts.  So, not mad, but confusion is still there.

  6.  CHURCH/CHRISTIANS - Not talking any specific Christian person or individual church, more the 

       overall groups.  Lots of things are difficult to agree on in the Bible and life of Jesus.  But not kids.  He

       loved them and certainly focused on those who were in need.  However, there are others who are

       needy, so perhaps churches and Christians are working in those areas too, so not my call to put a certain 

       kind of need over others.  Just have to wonder if some of our time and resources are being best used??

  7.  GOD - Never did feel anger toward God in this.  Why?  Because I believe with all of my heart that He 

       wants each child cherished and loved and in a family.  Love isn't forced though.  Someone has to be

       willing.  So, don't think that He is the problem.  Well, I'm pretty much out of people to blame!!!  That 

       leads me to....

??So?? Still angry and I've got to do something with that.  Here are the ways that I've found to vent some of it in ways that actually help the very thing that makes me so mad:

   1.  Live the solution!  I dare not preach what I won't live.  I am adopting!

   2.  Encourage others who are living the solution - support those who are adopting with $ and prayer 

        and a break now and then; kind words; celebrations.

   3.  Help as many children as my family possibly can.  We can't help all, but how many CAN we help? 

        Hmmmm.....intend to find out :)

   4.  Tell our/their stories to whoever is willing to listen.  Maybe some really don't know.  Now they will!

Told you this was a long one!  Wonder if anyone actually reads these?  Well, it is therapeutic for me so guess it doesn't really matter.

Final thought:  I have been reading in the books of the prophets of the Bible recently.  They were folks who God gave special and important messages to.  There is a fellow there named Ezekiel.  This guy got to ACT OUT messages - for example, at one point his word pictures included him lying on his side for days, months, over a year to make a point.  He made soup to illustrate another.  Got me wondering - since I do believe that God asks us to share His love through our lives, isn't adopting just another beautiful word picture?  Isn't it another way of showing who He is and what we might be missing and where we need to wake up and pay attention to something more important than we understand?  Well, I know that I can't live with being mad and having nowhere to funnel that.  Living in a way that makes a real change in the problem and illustrates the love of the God I serve & love through adoption - THAT is anger management for me, my friends!  

Off to Latvia to do just that - 3 days and counting!