Age at hosting: 14 Too late for him to have a family? No! He is now 15 and home!
Our son is one of so many children who have spent years, some their entire lives, without a family to grow with and love them. The older they get, the less chance that they WILL. As I get to know more of these amazing survivors, I feel more determined to be a voice for them. For today, the words that come to mind are, "It is NEVER too late!"
We hosted V over the summer before adopting. However, I am learning that there are many avenues of loving these kids. Here are a few - #6 is a way that I hadn't comprehended until recently:
1. Adopt a younger child - the younger he or she comes into a loving family, the less years of trauma, the faster healing can begin.
2. Adopt an older child - most have until 16 or 18, depending on the country, until they are on their own. The fear of bringing in a new family member who is older than 2 or 3 stops many in their tracks. The challenges are real, but so are the supports and the rewards for all involved.
3. Give to and pray for the children and families - hosting or adopting is so very expensive because of all of the fees and regulations in place to keep the kids safe. Most families are fine financially once the child comes home. Getting home is the tough part! A donation of time, money, or a meal will go far to encourage the family to keep moving forward.
4. Host a child for summer or winter break. Even if you are not able to or planning to adopt, there may be a connection between the child and the family who can when you bring them for a visit! You won't know what divine paths will cross during your time together, but you can be sure that the love you pour out will go a long way toward healing. Could be that a neighbor, an extended family member, a fellow employee, or someone from your church may be their family!
5. Adopt a "last chance" child. These kids are quickly approaching their final months or weeks as available for an official paperwork legitimate family. Some say that it is too late for them as they'd be on their own soon anyway. But what a horrifying thought! To head out on your own without the support of loving parents? They may or may not be at their adoptive home for long, but the support lasts a lifetime. No, it is NOT too late for them! Fast track families who are willing to be the final chance for traditional adoption are few, but crucial!
6. Choose a "host only" child! Some are host only because they still have some ties with other family members and aren't free for adoption. Some are "too old" to be adopted. For those with ties, there is still a need for loving family experiences.
But it is the "host only" children who are TOO OLD to be adopted that I'm drawn to these days. I used to skip right over them in photolistings because they couldn't be officially brought into a family. That was until I was praying about their situation recently. Paperwork isn't required to love, encourage, and support someone. I have friends who are "family" though not related to me in any way. So, I am seeing these "host only" children with new eyes - HOPEFUL eyes. I believe that there are those who would mentor, "parent," and support from an unofficial capacity. It isn't too late for that! Kids stay in their own country, perhaps, but with today's possibilities for international connections, an ongoing relationship IS possible. Imagine someone choosing YOU to walk alongside as you transition to young adulthood - after you and others say your opportunity has passed! I think that we may be missing the chance to love a huge group of hurting kids when we dismiss those who "age out."
7. Become a foster parent, missionary, or in some way GO and LIVE WITH the kids where they are. Let caring for them become your work and life.
I'm sure that there are other ways too, but I think that, for me, it is important to understand that there isn't only one way to a family for an orphan. There isn't one way to be family to an orphan. Sometimes we get stuck in our thinking. God works in mysterious and out-of-the-box ways. I shouldn't assume that a number on a paper cuts off the possibilities for a child - it is NEVER TOO LATE for them or for those who'd be their parents, whatever that looks like.
There are many agencies and groups that assist with all of the above. Do some research if something intrigued you. I can direct you to the organization that we used if you are interested in 1-6. We also know a missionary organization in our son's birth country who might be a place to start if you are considering #7.
I'm currently advocating for a young lady from V's former orphanage. She is beyond the age for adoption, but IT ISN'T TOO LATE for her! If you would be willing to give toward a scholarship to bring her here for the summer of '13, I can connect you to the tax deductible location for that. If you accept the opportunity to be her summer family, with potential to influence FAR beyond those few weeks, I will happily send you the link to Kristine's hosting group. Just leave contact info or email me at pittcrew1@comcast.net. Hosting matches are accepted in Feb. and March.
With hope that has no end,
Sue
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