Stages

Sitting in the hospital with my mom as she fights and struggles through a very difficult illness.  Much going through my mind as I wait and watch and wonder.

More and more in moments that aren't filled with family or teaching, my thoughts turn to the children who have grown to fill the rest of  my heart to overflowing with love and a passion that is beyond me.  They are orphans by definition, but are oh so much more.  So many children fit this description.  They are in America and every other country on our little planet.  But, my heart is drawn to a tiny country far, far away.  The orphans of that country have become somewhat of an obsession for me - ask my hubby!  Maybe God gave me a love for a small country and its kids because He knew that I can be a little intense, and bigger or more would overwhelm me.  Anyway, you may see a bit of what I mean below, if you have the gumption to get that far :).    I've been trying to find a way to explain a little more of what I see in these little and not-so-little treasures.  Here is one attempt...

Here are just a FEW of those dear ones who have blessed me through their courage and will to survive.  Some of you may know of them.


****  Alina, Vadims, Sasha, Martins, Martins, Kristine, Amanda, Arnolds and so, so many more!
These kids remind me of the eggs in the life cycle above.  I know very little about them - a picture and short description is about it.  They are all waiting for families to host or adopt them.  They have enormous potential and beauty within, but have yet to be nurtured in an environment where that can emerge.  I see so much hope and possibility!!  They may be VERY far from what could be right now, but it is there!  Where are their families?

****Romalda, Kristine, Juri, Dana, Alisa, Kate, and so, so many more!  Here are a few of those I know about and follow who seem to be in the caterpillar stage.  These sweethearts have been hosted and are being pursued by those who love them - they will not be orphans much longer!  During their hosting, they've changed (as have their families).  They are individuals.  Their personalities have begun to shine.  They are cherished, fought for, and loved more than they can imagine. Within months, these six and many more will be HOME.

****Azaiah, AJ, Janis, Vita, and so, so many more!
Yep, the pupa people :)  Once home, there is a waiting period before the adoption is final.  It is a huge time of transition, reality checks, honeymoon phase, and testing.  Do my parents REALLY love me?  REALLY?  Do I have the courage to leave all that I know to join this family?  How?  Parents and siblings ask too.  More questions than answers sometimes.  Hard questions.  The delicate and often hidden, internal work of transformation is occurring.  We might not see all that is happening inside, but amazing changes are taking place!!

****Vitaly, Grace, Rita, Lera, Janis, Alex, Aleks, Eddie, Lilija, Laura, Noah, Dima, and so, so many more!  The emerging caterpillars.  They have just begun to break through all that holds them back.  They are safe and loved.  They can become all that God has created them to be.  What a wonder to behold.  Beautiful, each one.

So, I ask over and over, what do I do with this burning passion?  You get a little dumped out on you here occasionally.  I can't help advocating for at least a few kids on social networks.  I pray for and give to as many as I can.  We have hosted and adopted one of these amazing children.  Yet, I can't seem to accept the fact that so many are still unchosen.  I'm glad that I can't accept that, but bottled up passion needs an outlet.  I'm open to ideas if you have any :)  PM me at Suzan Peterson or email at pittcrew1@comcast.net.  Maybe you can help me to connect the passion with the need!

With great expectation,
Sue

NEVER too late

Age at hosting: 14  Too late for him to have a family?  No!  He is now 15 and home!

Our son is one of so many children who have spent years, some their entire lives, without a family to grow with and love them.  The older they get, the less chance that they WILL.  As I get to know more of these amazing survivors, I feel more determined to be a voice for them.  For today, the words that come to mind are, "It is NEVER too late!"

We hosted V over the summer before adopting.  However, I am learning that there are many avenues of loving these kids.  Here are a few - #6 is a way that I hadn't comprehended until recently:

1.  Adopt a younger child - the younger he or she comes into a loving family, the less years of trauma, the faster healing can begin.

2.   Adopt an older child - most have until 16 or 18, depending on the country, until they are on their own.  The fear of bringing in a new family member who is older than 2 or 3 stops many in their tracks.  The challenges are real, but so are the supports and the rewards for all involved.  

3.  Give to and pray for the children and families - hosting or adopting is so very expensive because of all of the fees and regulations in place to keep the kids safe.  Most families are fine financially once the child comes home.  Getting home is the tough part!  A donation of time, money, or a meal will go far to encourage the family to keep moving forward.

4.  Host a child for summer or winter break.  Even if you are not able to or planning to adopt, there may be a connection between the child and the family who can when you bring them for a visit!  You won't know what divine paths will cross during your time together, but you can be sure that the love you pour out will go a long way toward healing.  Could be that a neighbor, an extended family member, a fellow employee, or someone from your church may be their family!

5.  Adopt a "last chance" child.  These kids are quickly approaching their final months or weeks as available for an official paperwork legitimate family.  Some say that it is too late for them as they'd be on their own soon anyway.  But what a horrifying thought!  To head out on your own without the support of loving parents?  They may or may not be at their adoptive home for long, but the support lasts a lifetime.  No, it is NOT too late for them!  Fast track families who are willing to be the final chance for traditional adoption are few, but crucial!

6. Choose a "host only" child!  Some are host only because they still have some ties with other family members and aren't free for adoption.  Some are "too old" to be adopted.  For those with ties, there is still a need for loving family experiences.  

But it is the "host only" children who are TOO OLD to be adopted that I'm drawn to these days.  I used to skip right over them in photolistings because they couldn't be officially brought into a family.  That was until I was praying about their situation recently.  Paperwork isn't required to love, encourage, and support someone.  I have friends who are "family" though not related to me in any way.  So, I am seeing these "host only" children with new eyes - HOPEFUL eyes.  I believe that there are those who would mentor, "parent," and support from an unofficial capacity.  It isn't too late for that!  Kids stay in their own country, perhaps, but with today's possibilities for international connections, an ongoing relationship IS possible.  Imagine someone choosing YOU to walk alongside as you transition to young adulthood - after you and others say your opportunity has passed!  I think that we may be missing the chance to love a huge group of hurting kids when we dismiss those who "age out."   

7. Become a foster parent, missionary, or in some way GO and LIVE WITH the kids where they are.  Let caring for them become your work and life.

I'm sure that there are other ways too, but I think that, for me, it is important to understand that there isn't only one way to a family for an orphan.  There isn't one way to be family to an orphan.  Sometimes we get stuck in our thinking.  God works in mysterious and out-of-the-box ways.  I shouldn't assume that a number on a paper cuts off the possibilities for a child - it is NEVER TOO LATE for them or for those who'd be their parents, whatever that looks like.

There are many agencies and groups that assist with all of the above.  Do some research if something intrigued you.  I can direct you to the organization that we used if you are interested in 1-6.  We also know a missionary organization in our son's birth country who might be a place to start if you are considering #7.  

I'm currently advocating for a young lady from V's former orphanage.  She is beyond the age for adoption, but IT ISN'T TOO LATE for her!  If you would be willing to give toward a scholarship to bring her here for the summer of '13, I can connect you to the tax deductible location for that.  If you accept the opportunity to be her summer family, with potential to influence FAR beyond those few weeks, I will happily send you the link to Kristine's hosting group.  Just leave contact info or email me at pittcrew1@comcast.net.  Hosting matches are accepted in Feb. and March.

With hope that has no end,

Sue