******This is a vent blog post - be warned.******
This is HARD!!!!!!!
*Seems like too much to do.
*Seems like never enough money.
*Seems like not enough respect.
*Seems that what I say is not heard.
*Seems like messes are everywhere.
*Seems like problems, sometimes serious problems, are a daily occurrence.
*Seems like I can't do this.
*Guess I'm a parent!
Okay, the above is written basically to say that if I am a parent, then I will experience the above things, and occasionally the above expression/action.
That is the case for every PARENT I have ever known. There are no perfect parents and no perfect kids. Those who think that they are or that they have - are not being honest I'm afraid.
I say this because there are those who FEAR that hosting and adoption will bring about the above mentioned issues - and then some. Well, that is true. However, becoming a parent will do that to you, regardless of how you become one. Sometimes there are additional factors or issues are more complex with an older child who has had a rough start. But that does not mean that we don't parent them! Be informed, be prepared with resources, be prayerful, and be willing to risk your "perfect looking" life, then dive in. I guarantee that you WILL feel all of the above. But I also guarantee that you will experience these:
*Seems like you can't get enough of trusting hugs that are from the heart.
*Seems like progress toward a longtime goal requires celebration!
*Seems like God gives more strength and peace and joy even though you have taken on something far beyond what you can handle.
*Seems like you find friends who understand that will take up the slack for those who don't or who criticize.
*Seems like money isn't really so important anymore when compared to greater things.
*Seems like perfect love casts out all fear.
*Seems like acceptance goes a long way toward defeating any problem.
*Guess I'm a parent!
Finally, I am venting mostly because there are a LOT of amazing boys and girls who need a family!! Also because there is a TON of fear surrounding folks hosting and/or adopting them. I don't know what else to do with my frustration over this, so I'm dumping it here. Parenting is HARD - any parenting of any child!!! If you are willing to take on this role, just know that. If you are willing to take this on with an older orphan, you will find that they need the same as every other child - patience, love, acceptance, time, energy.... All else will fall into place. Whatever the issue, it is lessened and more likely to be healed if there is a loving family involved. Without a family the chances of that issue increasing or causing more trouble for the child are exponentially greater!
There are hosting organizations that are preparing kids to come to families over Christmas. If you are clear about the facts - it won't be easy but will be worth it - and you are willing to FIGHT THE FEAR, please contact me to find a child. Not a perfect child, mind you, but one (or two or more!) who are worth every ounce of effort that you are willing to put in - and then some!!!
Okay, back to my more typical self..
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| a little shaky, but pressing on :) |
With a hopeful heart,
Sue
It sounds like you're coping with the hard stuff well - that's awesome!! Congrats.
ReplyDeleteHowever, many of your fellow APs aren't doing nearly so well since they've recently:
- "accidentally" (but being investigated by homicide detectives) dropped their newly adopted daughter into the Erie canal while strapped into a stroller like John Clanton recently did to Selah: myreallifebyyvonne.blogspot.com
- shipped their adopted son Victor off to "crisis respite" indefinitely so they could buy cuter lower maintenance orphans from Ethiopia, like tge Reilly's: somewherebehindthemorning.blogspot.com
- excluded ONLY the adopted kid kellsey from a fun family trip to California, and THEN sent kellsey to respite indefinitely. And bragged online that the biokids don't miss kellsey - who was their sister for 2.5 yrs - one bit, like the Garcias; myspecialks.com
- kept $30k raised to adopt AND $12k of refundable tax credit... But got rid of the kid (disrupted), like autumn winkle did. Autumn did it cuz she had better things to do than get lil Yuri a walker and desperately needed therapies: noknots.blogspot.com
Well, Naveah, I would never assume to know all of the details behind those stories. However, I do know that there is nothing helpful in attempting to focus on the negatives. There are sad situations in every neighborhood unfortunately - whether children are adopted or not. Much better to offer assistance to families who are brave enough to go down this road.
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