Stages

Sitting in the hospital with my mom as she fights and struggles through a very difficult illness.  Much going through my mind as I wait and watch and wonder.

More and more in moments that aren't filled with family or teaching, my thoughts turn to the children who have grown to fill the rest of  my heart to overflowing with love and a passion that is beyond me.  They are orphans by definition, but are oh so much more.  So many children fit this description.  They are in America and every other country on our little planet.  But, my heart is drawn to a tiny country far, far away.  The orphans of that country have become somewhat of an obsession for me - ask my hubby!  Maybe God gave me a love for a small country and its kids because He knew that I can be a little intense, and bigger or more would overwhelm me.  Anyway, you may see a bit of what I mean below, if you have the gumption to get that far :).    I've been trying to find a way to explain a little more of what I see in these little and not-so-little treasures.  Here is one attempt...

Here are just a FEW of those dear ones who have blessed me through their courage and will to survive.  Some of you may know of them.


****  Alina, Vadims, Sasha, Martins, Martins, Kristine, Amanda, Arnolds and so, so many more!
These kids remind me of the eggs in the life cycle above.  I know very little about them - a picture and short description is about it.  They are all waiting for families to host or adopt them.  They have enormous potential and beauty within, but have yet to be nurtured in an environment where that can emerge.  I see so much hope and possibility!!  They may be VERY far from what could be right now, but it is there!  Where are their families?

****Romalda, Kristine, Juri, Dana, Alisa, Kate, and so, so many more!  Here are a few of those I know about and follow who seem to be in the caterpillar stage.  These sweethearts have been hosted and are being pursued by those who love them - they will not be orphans much longer!  During their hosting, they've changed (as have their families).  They are individuals.  Their personalities have begun to shine.  They are cherished, fought for, and loved more than they can imagine. Within months, these six and many more will be HOME.

****Azaiah, AJ, Janis, Vita, and so, so many more!
Yep, the pupa people :)  Once home, there is a waiting period before the adoption is final.  It is a huge time of transition, reality checks, honeymoon phase, and testing.  Do my parents REALLY love me?  REALLY?  Do I have the courage to leave all that I know to join this family?  How?  Parents and siblings ask too.  More questions than answers sometimes.  Hard questions.  The delicate and often hidden, internal work of transformation is occurring.  We might not see all that is happening inside, but amazing changes are taking place!!

****Vitaly, Grace, Rita, Lera, Janis, Alex, Aleks, Eddie, Lilija, Laura, Noah, Dima, and so, so many more!  The emerging caterpillars.  They have just begun to break through all that holds them back.  They are safe and loved.  They can become all that God has created them to be.  What a wonder to behold.  Beautiful, each one.

So, I ask over and over, what do I do with this burning passion?  You get a little dumped out on you here occasionally.  I can't help advocating for at least a few kids on social networks.  I pray for and give to as many as I can.  We have hosted and adopted one of these amazing children.  Yet, I can't seem to accept the fact that so many are still unchosen.  I'm glad that I can't accept that, but bottled up passion needs an outlet.  I'm open to ideas if you have any :)  PM me at Suzan Peterson or email at pittcrew1@comcast.net.  Maybe you can help me to connect the passion with the need!

With great expectation,
Sue

NEVER too late

Age at hosting: 14  Too late for him to have a family?  No!  He is now 15 and home!

Our son is one of so many children who have spent years, some their entire lives, without a family to grow with and love them.  The older they get, the less chance that they WILL.  As I get to know more of these amazing survivors, I feel more determined to be a voice for them.  For today, the words that come to mind are, "It is NEVER too late!"

We hosted V over the summer before adopting.  However, I am learning that there are many avenues of loving these kids.  Here are a few - #6 is a way that I hadn't comprehended until recently:

1.  Adopt a younger child - the younger he or she comes into a loving family, the less years of trauma, the faster healing can begin.

2.   Adopt an older child - most have until 16 or 18, depending on the country, until they are on their own.  The fear of bringing in a new family member who is older than 2 or 3 stops many in their tracks.  The challenges are real, but so are the supports and the rewards for all involved.  

3.  Give to and pray for the children and families - hosting or adopting is so very expensive because of all of the fees and regulations in place to keep the kids safe.  Most families are fine financially once the child comes home.  Getting home is the tough part!  A donation of time, money, or a meal will go far to encourage the family to keep moving forward.

4.  Host a child for summer or winter break.  Even if you are not able to or planning to adopt, there may be a connection between the child and the family who can when you bring them for a visit!  You won't know what divine paths will cross during your time together, but you can be sure that the love you pour out will go a long way toward healing.  Could be that a neighbor, an extended family member, a fellow employee, or someone from your church may be their family!

5.  Adopt a "last chance" child.  These kids are quickly approaching their final months or weeks as available for an official paperwork legitimate family.  Some say that it is too late for them as they'd be on their own soon anyway.  But what a horrifying thought!  To head out on your own without the support of loving parents?  They may or may not be at their adoptive home for long, but the support lasts a lifetime.  No, it is NOT too late for them!  Fast track families who are willing to be the final chance for traditional adoption are few, but crucial!

6. Choose a "host only" child!  Some are host only because they still have some ties with other family members and aren't free for adoption.  Some are "too old" to be adopted.  For those with ties, there is still a need for loving family experiences.  

But it is the "host only" children who are TOO OLD to be adopted that I'm drawn to these days.  I used to skip right over them in photolistings because they couldn't be officially brought into a family.  That was until I was praying about their situation recently.  Paperwork isn't required to love, encourage, and support someone.  I have friends who are "family" though not related to me in any way.  So, I am seeing these "host only" children with new eyes - HOPEFUL eyes.  I believe that there are those who would mentor, "parent," and support from an unofficial capacity.  It isn't too late for that!  Kids stay in their own country, perhaps, but with today's possibilities for international connections, an ongoing relationship IS possible.  Imagine someone choosing YOU to walk alongside as you transition to young adulthood - after you and others say your opportunity has passed!  I think that we may be missing the chance to love a huge group of hurting kids when we dismiss those who "age out."   

7. Become a foster parent, missionary, or in some way GO and LIVE WITH the kids where they are.  Let caring for them become your work and life.

I'm sure that there are other ways too, but I think that, for me, it is important to understand that there isn't only one way to a family for an orphan.  There isn't one way to be family to an orphan.  Sometimes we get stuck in our thinking.  God works in mysterious and out-of-the-box ways.  I shouldn't assume that a number on a paper cuts off the possibilities for a child - it is NEVER TOO LATE for them or for those who'd be their parents, whatever that looks like.

There are many agencies and groups that assist with all of the above.  Do some research if something intrigued you.  I can direct you to the organization that we used if you are interested in 1-6.  We also know a missionary organization in our son's birth country who might be a place to start if you are considering #7.  

I'm currently advocating for a young lady from V's former orphanage.  She is beyond the age for adoption, but IT ISN'T TOO LATE for her!  If you would be willing to give toward a scholarship to bring her here for the summer of '13, I can connect you to the tax deductible location for that.  If you accept the opportunity to be her summer family, with potential to influence FAR beyond those few weeks, I will happily send you the link to Kristine's hosting group.  Just leave contact info or email me at pittcrew1@comcast.net.  Hosting matches are accepted in Feb. and March.

With hope that has no end,

Sue

long ago in latrobe...

Long ago and far from where we live now, I took two classes in Chinese.  Yep, Chinese!  Loved them, too. Why?  Because we were considering adopting from that country, so I was hoping to learn more about the language and culture.  At that time we didn't qualify for the program...actually some say we still don't.  I don't accept a "no" from anyone but God anymore though.  I will never forget the end of class assignment - a short play, written and performed (pretty poorly probably!) all in Chinese.  It was basically a dialogue between me and a young girl who was waiting in China for us to come and bring her home.  

New Horizons for Children has begun hosting children from China, so in a way, I can help to connect some of those young ones with families now after all of these years.  The little girl in that play never left my heart....

Here is LaShay.  She is hoping for a family to host her in February of 2013.  I am committing to pray for her, give to her scholarship fund (she has been given $500 so far), share about her, and be willing to do more should God intervene and move the mountains present.  Anyone want to join me?  

She has until December 15th to be chosen by a family on the East Coast only (first program from China can only host in this area).

Several boys are still waiting for the same program.  Contact me or New Horizons before 12/15 if you are interested in more information about them!

From her photolisting with New Horizons - Another of China children we hope to place for the February host program: Meet LaShay: She is 12 years old. Her favorite subject is Chinese and she was awarded with being the 2nd in her class as far as overall grades! She likes to sing and dance and draw. If she could improve one thing, she said she would like to improve her dancing. If she could change one thing, LaShay wishes she were a bit taller! She gets along great with others and is happy, smiles and gives good eye contact to whoever she is talking with. LaShay’s favorite color is purple and she thinks she would like a smaller family with just one or two other children if given a choice.

Before and After - to the point

BEFORE - V is in the middle holding onto the chaperone.  This shaky photo was taken by another dad who tearfully sent his child back to the orphanage while she waited too.  She is now home with her family forever!  Look closely at V's face and the faces of the others leaving America after being loved by families for a little more than a month.  Many are asked to join the families in adoption later, but can't be told yet.  Horrible moments captured here - but the stories aren't over!

\

AFTER - Adoption complete and the "new normal" has begun.  Look closely at the face again.  What do you see?  There is a difference of about a year in time, but age alone can't bring these changes about.

So, the point is - I keep advocating for kids who are not yet to the "after"stage.  They are orphans who are over the most usually adopted age.  Their chances without being hosted first are minimal - rarely adopted and rarely survive in a happy and productive way if not adopted.

Some of the kids I've pictured for winter hosting have families now!!!  Yippee!!!  But, not Kristine :(  And there are way too many more for me to think about.  So, I will keep praying and posting.  Maybe someone, somewhere, will see and respond.  Maybe someday her before and after pictures will grace my screen.  She has a lovely smile already.  Imagine what she'd radiate with a family surrounding her....

 Contact me or www.newhorizonsforchildren.org to get more info on Kristine or the others.

The End...The Beginning

THE END!  The last adoption step required before heading home from Latvia - with new birth certificate and as an American citizen!

THE BEGINNING!  A brand new school where so many possibilities are waiting...a family to support and love him...and a safe place to let God do some healing....

So much more could be said about Vitaly's adoption.  So much happened on this last trip and since then.  However, he is home.  The rest will come about one day at a time.  We are forever grateful for each of you who has encouraged and supported us through this process which lasted about 18 months from applying to host through the final adoption trip.  Whew!  Exhausting in so many ways, but wouldn't change a moment - even the most stressful ones.  They are all a part of this unfolding story :)  

Because V is every bit our son as our other 3 boys, the blog is moving now to having a bit more of an advocating role.  I will never forget the amazing men, women, and children that we have worked with and met on our journey.   I also believe that every single child in every orphanage needs a family.  Money and ignorance and fear prevent this.  I may not be able to adopt endless numbers of those amazing kids, but I sure can do something.  Right now, the something includes bringing to the attention of any who will listen or look a few of the children who want to come and spend Christmas with a family.  You can learn more about these kids and others at  newhorizonsforchildren.org


1.  This is the child that I would host this winter if I could.  She has my heart!  I am praying for funds to help her with some scholarship money so that someone might be able to host her more easily.  If you can't host, could you help a little toward her scholarship?

Kristine age 11
tine shared she also likes to watch cartoons.

2.  Ritvars is not a fan of liver!  If it is your favorite, don't worry.  I'm sure that you'll find many other things in common lol!  This child likes legos, sledding and snowball fights.  Those would be wonderful hosting memories this winter.  If you live where there isn't much snow, take a little drive and find some!

Ritvars

3.  When life is touched by tragedy, it is not over.  This child has seen more than many adults can imagine, but he could have a very different future!  A glimmer of hope and joy this winter might give him the strength he'll need to overcome the past.  And maybe he'll meet his forever family, who would have the privilege of walking a healing path with him.  Praying for a very special mama and papa for this young man.

Normunds - age 12

Three of so many, but these three are my focus for this hosting.  Should they all find a family, then I will happily choose some others!!!  Please join me in praying for them, giving for scholarships, sharing their stories, or getting more info on welcoming one (or more) this Christmas.

With hope X 3,

Sue

The "Art" of Adoption

I enjoy finding comparisons between life experiences and tangible symbols of them.  This morning I was thinking about how adoption might be seen in art.  There are probably many ways, maybe many that are more appropriate than what I have found here, but two forms found their way into my heart today:

First is the mosaic - the photo is of a favorite work of art.  It was created by the people of my faith community during a response to a message there.  The stones were placed by men, women, and kids present, including me.  It was a very moving experience to watch this mosaic go from its plain beginning state to something beautiful.  As each person chose a stone and a location for it, the beauty grew.  This is the result, and I love it!  The picture doesn't do it justice, but you get the idea hopefully. 



the mosaic table from our church - which stone do you think is mine?

I see adoption as similar to the mosaic in that lives are intermingled to create something that is more intricate and amazing than they would be alone.  Some stones are shaped differently; some stones are tiny, others larger; some shine, while some have a deeper glow.  People really are not much different from that, are we?

Only one aspect of the mosaic was limiting me in my search for an art form to symbolize adoption.  The mosaic is set once it has been created.  It captures a moment, a commitment at a certain time, the beauty created by a unique group of people that represents relationships cemented by love.  However,  I was seeking a more fluid form....

Then, I remembered the KALEIDOSCOPE!!!  The unique pieces that are collected in the inner chamber are each necessary for the end result.  Every color and shape contributes to the design - actually, the more colors and shapes, the more layers of complex beauty.  Pieces added would only increase that.  What sold me on this as the expression that I was looking for, was the fluidity of it.  A kaleidoscope is MADE to change.  Relationships are not static.  Life happens.  When the slightest movement or a twist of the barrel jars the pieces, the design changes.  Not the beauty.  Not the dependence upon one another.  The relationships do.  The resulting design does. 


With adoption, we CHOOSE to add another element, one that is crafted from very differnt material, to the core of the family kaleidoscope.  The patterns created are breathtaking.

We really can't have too much beauty, can we??  So, an update...
Two of the children from my last post have been chosen for the summer!  So many remain... maybe there is one (or more) that might add something amazing to YOUR life.  Message me or contact New Horizons for Children for more information.

With growing hope,
Sue

Add caption

SURPRISE!

www.villagetovillageintl.com

Love the picture of V leaving the orphanage for the last time  before joining our family!  Given very little hope and very little chance for a full life, BUT God intervenes and we get to be a part of that miracle <3

I have loved mail since I was a child - oh, the possibilities!  Anything wonderful could arrive in that mailbox!  Well, that has now extended to email and facebook -- ya never know what might come :)

Today, I got home from work to find a message from the wonderful folks at Village to Village.  They have been collecting funds for us so that donations can be tax-deductible.  They had a special gift that they are offering to us as a MATCHING GRANT!!!!  We did not expect this at all because we hadn't asked, applied, or anything!  They will match, dollar for dollar, any donations made for our adoption between now and 9/18 - up to $500!  Basically, a donation is doubled - give $5 and it becomes $10!  If we fulfill the match, that will be $1,000 - almost the cost of Vitaly's ticket to Latvia and home.  How awesome is that??  Just click on the link, go to our picture, and you can donate by paypal (or check but please tell them it is coming if so - 'cause our deadline is 9/18)

This is our final fundraising opportunity for donations for V's adoption.  Trip 3 is upon us - whew!  If you are considering a contribution, this would be perfect timing.  If not moved or able to do so, please consider sharing the link.  And take a look at what amazing things this organization is doing - as well as the other adopting families (including another child from Latvia!)

One more tidbit -- so, the message on Sunday that was shared by Matthew, our pastor, was a challenge to examine our lives to see what might need a change, and what might be holding us back from living the most full and God-honoring lives.  I've been chewing on that ever since... and had concluded that, for me, one thing that I need to let go of is my constant attempts to control - people, money, housing, circumstances, weight - well, you get the picture!  When I try to control, I am limiting what He can do, and I don't always recognize the difference between what is brought about on my own and what is a gift that is given with more love than I can imagine.  This is just the beginning of our several week discussions about "hope and transformation" but on day 2, I'm pretty much blown away :)  Looking forward to the days ahead and all that I have to learn.  That said, if you are curious about the message and questions, check out the link at www.crcc.org and think about joining me on the journey <3

Surprised by grace,

Sue